North Korea Denied Luxury Cars, Responds with Threat of Nuclear War

In a move that is at once staggeringly aggressive and yet fairly unsurprising, North Korea has threatened the United States with nuclear war after receiving more sanctions from the U.N. Security Council.

"Since the United States is about to ignite a nuclear war, we will be exercising our right to preemptive nuclear attack against the headquarters of the aggressor in order to protect our supreme interest," a North Korean foreign ministry spokesman said in a statement through the official KCNA news agency.

The United States has, over the course of three weeks of negotiations with the North's ally China, recently settled on a plan that would impose sanctions on North Korea prohibiting cash transfers and luxury items including jewelry, cars, and yachts. This move is a direct shot at the leadership in Pyongyang that benefits the most from these cash transfers and luxuries, and the message is clear:

"The strength, breadth and severity of these sanctions will raise the cost to North Korea of its illicit nuclear program and further constrain its ability to finance and source materials and technology for its ballistic missile, conventional and nuclear weapons program," notes U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. Susan Rice

She continues: "When North Korea tries to move money to pay for its nuclear and ballistic missile programs, countries must now block those transfers even if the money is being carried in suitcases full of bulk cash."

In response, the state-run CPRK (Coalition for the Peaceful Reunification of Korea) reports that North Korea has vowed to void all pacts with South Korea this Monday, the same day they plan to rip up the 1953 armistice agreement that effectively ended the Korean War.

It is not believed that North Korea currently has the technological capability to reach the mainland Unites States with a nuclear warhead, though U.S. allies Japan and South Korea are both easily within the range of the North.

"North-South relations have gone so far beyond the danger line that they are no longer reparable and an extremely dangerous situation is prevailing... where a nuclear war may break out right now," the CPRK said.

South Korea has vowed to fight back should its neighbor to the north provoke it.

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