Even seemingly small or ordinary phrases can significantly influence how others perceive you. For instance, the words you choose during a job interview can determine whether you appear confident and qualified or uncertain about your abilities. According to authors and communication experts Kathy and Ross Petras, it is crucial to select your words thoughtfully and employ assertive language.
According to Petrases, writing for CNBC Make It last year, the key is to balance being "assertive without being overly aggressive," which can be particularly beneficial in interactions with a boss, colleague, friend, or partner.
Experts suggest that these three phrases inadvertently convey weakness and insecurity, achieving the opposite of their intended goal:
"I'm Sorry To Ask This, But..."
While apologizing may appear polite, using the phrase "I'm sorry" excessively, particularly in situations where it is unwarranted, can undermine the impact of your words and diminish the significance of future apologies. Using apologetic language, such as "I'm sorry, I have one last question" or "Maybe it's just me, but...", can give the impression that you're belittling yourself or downplay the importance of a request you are making, says the Petrases. Request what you need directly and conclude with a "Thank you."
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"I Just..."
Communication consultant Danny Rubin suggests that "I just" dilutes the impact of what follows it.
Danny Rubin, writing for Make It in 2018, emphasizes that phrases like "I just want to ask you," "It'll just take a minute," and "I'm just saying" are weak. He explains that "just" is a small word with significant implications. Each time it is used, it implies that the speaker is wasting someone's time. Instead, if you have something important to say, say it directly.
Simply changing a few words if you are feeling nervous or insecure during a meeting or conversation will not alter how you feel, but you can prepare your mind for such situations by engaging in calming exercises such as meditation, taking a walk, reciting affirmations, or practicing breathing techniques, according to HR executive Simon Taylor. These methods can assist you in "overcoming nerves and becoming more grounded," as he told Make It last year.
"I Don't Know"
"I don't know" is a frequently used filler phrase or crutch word to occupy space until individuals can complete their thoughts, but it can also create the impression of incompetence.
Instead of saying, "I don't know," Eric Yaverbaum, CEO of public relations firm Ericho Communications, recommends responding with something like, "That's a fascinating question. Give me a minute or two to think about it," as he told Make It in February 2023. This advice is particularly relevant in job interviews, where you may encounter unexpected curveball questions.
Yaverbaum explained that it is simpler to admit that you have no idea when faced with a problem than to attempt to provide a solution, as being composed and confident in your response signals to an interviewer that you are a team player and adept at problem-solving, which are qualities that every employer look for their employees.
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