Oct 28, 2013 01:47 PM EDT

Britney Spears Leads the Fight Against Somali Pirates


When you think of Britney Spears fighting with pirates , you might assume this means illegal downloaders sites like piratebay.org likes to harbor. So it is shocking to find out that these are the real gun toting Somalis. These African Pirates now terrorize the seven seas much like their former Spanish and Caribbean counterparts. While Spears isn't firing the muskets at them personally, or leaping into hot pants clad swashbuckling, the merchant marines are blaring her tunes at pirates off the coast of Africa.

The choice of Spear's music, namely the hits "Hit Me Baby One More Time" and "Oops I Did It Again" are being blared at the raiders because of their hatred for western culture, which Spears is thought to embody. It has reportedly has proven to be so effective officers are claiming they no longer even have to fire guns. They fire the speakers instead and the raiders sail to less op inhibited waters . Not the first time music has been used in such as fashion, it has been employed the past to quell riots and the US military has used heavy metal as a method of torture in the Middle East.

Navy officer Rachel Owens says they can target the pirates directly and not upset the crew. The east coast of Africa has become riddled by pirate activity more in recent years, with the sea bound marauders kidnapping crews to hold for million dollar ransoms.

Though pirates have begun to use ear plugs, this has only lead to a wave making increase in volume. Every security has it's own choice in music , but Spears seemed to be the most effective though some have speculated a switch to Justin Beiber might produce similar results, however no reports have come in if this is being base upon Beiber's feminine sounding voice.

Spears suffered several media heavy mental breakdowns long before Miley Cyrus knew what twerking was, yet there is no word if the singer receiving credit towards any of her outstanding community service from her 2008 custodial arrest, in regards to waiving royalties for the Merchant Marine's use of her songs up the Ivory coast. In 2007 Spears donated one of her pirate costumes to an auction for the Make a Wish foundation, so there has yet to be any speculation is she sail for a different pirate fraction and is donating her tunes in retaliation for a past feud.

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